Four months ago, wow. Well, a few days shy of four months. That’s how long ago I last blogged. Geez. I definitely didn’t keep up my promise to blog more this year, did I? If you are going to break a promise, better to do so early on. Rip off the Band-Aid right away, as folks say. Get it over with quick and clean. No pussyfooting around with procrastination. Well, actually there is quite a bit of… never mind. You get the point.
What to write about, what to write about. Deep inhale. Long exhale.
This has been precisely the root of the problem. What to write. It’s not that I haven’t had topics I wanted to write about but I talked myself out of it so easily.
President Trump. Don’t dive into that subject, it’s far too political. You might even make enemies of potential freelance clients or readers…
Relationships. Oh you don’t want to go there, Chris. That topic is such a hairy mess.
Sex. How are you going to talk about that without swerving around things you might not want to share or others’ observations which might identify someone.
–or my favorite dooming thought of them all when the absolute perfect topic arises.
Oh, yeah, that’s a really good idea, you should blog THAT when you get home.
Ninety-minute drive later.
How are you going to write about that now? You’ve totally forgotten all of the points you were going to make. Sigh.
I have come up with so many wonderful excuses not to blog — not enough time, other higher priorities, clients’ sites before my own, yadda yadda yadda. All of these excuses end up at the same place: nowhere. What is left standing is a blog that looks lonely, outdated or forgotten. You have not been forgotten, my little blog. Only set aside for a time.
And neither have I forgotten about you, my subscribers and regular followers of my antics. How I wonder if we’ve gone through many of the same things during these past four months of my quiet pages. Let’s compare notes. For me: more health ‘stuff;’ work that keeps me busy day and night since, well, I work for clients in the day and night; frustrations in relationships; growing affection for my closest friends and that little boogerhead I call my Jax aka Crazy Wookie, no longer a puppy having just turned two years old (wow!);wistfulness about what I have not done; dissatisfaction in what I have done; sadness over friends and family lost (yes, more funerals, much like the last couple of years); my usual disdain for lack of closure and unanswered questions (what’s new?); and anger and disappointment at times at observations about people going out of their way to hurt each other, contradict one another or generally speaking, do whatever the hell they can to thwart any progress made socially, economically or environmentally — particularly in high ranking positions of authority in, oh, let’s say, national Capitols.
How about you? Hands up if you have been experiencing any similar anxiety and frustration lately, too?
I know firsthand how therapeutic it can be to release these frustrations through the written word — perhaps a return to private journal writing is part of the prescription. It has been a while since I’ve done that. But I do know that this place right here can be a wonderful spot to share, to open dialogues and to spark ideas.
I am so determined to stay hopeful – I do not want to become jaded or half-glass empty. When I was very young, I had a touch of that and I have tried so hard to avoid falling into that funnel of negativity. It hasn’t been easy lately. Between apartment fires in London and shootings on both coasts, yesterday was a very dark day and it was tough to see a drop of anything in the glass but I sure felt like pouring a tall glass of something sparkling and sitting in the corner with the TV off and Monkees tunes blasting the speakers or something to liven up my heart because I know I was feeling quite disheartened by the world. I’m certain I wasn’t the only person who felt this way. I read your tweets, your Facebook posts, your micropoetry. Many of us found ourselves losing faith in our neighbors as we scrolled breaking news alerts throughout the day.
This is a place I can share those feelings and welcome others to do the same and to invite dialogue – and that includes differing points of view. I’m not sure what roads I’m going to travel but I don’t want my next blog to be from October wishing I had said so much more the past four months.
Okay, I’m ready. Let’s do this. ~ Chris xo
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