Tuesdays are wonderful for so many reasons, but one of the main reasons is that it is often the only chance I get to meet up with good friends for a breakfast or lunch date. This week, I caught up with one of my oldest and dearest friends. The conversation was thoughtful and plentiful as it always is between us. One of the topics that came up was the daily difficulty of remembering to place ourselves into the day as a priority. She’s a mom of two, easing her way back into working remotely again, and wondering how all of it is going to work logistically. And though I don’t have small children of my own or pets anymore, I still find that much like other people – especially women – I frequently forget to put my own personal needs on the priority list each day. I find that I care more about the well-being of my my family or my freelance clients than I do myself on a regular basis. I’m sure it goes back to that politeness affliction I’ve written about before from which I and countless others suffer.
I’ve mentioned this to some women before and had them scoff at me as if to say, “Well, what’s the problem? Just schedule yourself into the day. Duh.” I find that is far easier to say than it is to do. This is especially the case if you’ve had engrained into your personality the value of pleasing others first. I call it “Hostess Syndrome.” Serve everybody at the table first before you feed yourself. Only sometimes, you give everybody a slice of pizza from the pie because that’s the right thing to do as the hostess but then guess what? If there are 8 guests besides yourself and only 8 slices of pizza, I think we know who goes hungry in this scenario. (I’m hoping that it’s pepperoni, since I don’t eat meat on my pizza anyway.)
So I think I’m going to try something new — reframing it to appeal to the baseball lover in me. Every baseball lineup has to include the necessary people to get every inch of field covered and deal with whatever is lofted the team’s way. And similarly, when it’s time to come up to bat, each player needs to be worked into the batting order in the most strategic way to get the maximum benefit. Get the fast people on base early so the hard-hitters can drive them home. Position the base stealers where they’ll have ample opportunity to run and gain extra progress for the team. Place your weakest players further down the order so they won’t have as many at-bats if they remain in the lineup all 9 innings. And far too often, I don’t really strategize in a way that maximizes my talents or refreshes me to support myself in working at OPTIMAL level. I need to stop basing my responsiveness to the old “whoever shouts the loudest gets my attention first” mode of operating. I know I’m not the only one who finds themselves resorting to this plan of attack. I need to start thinking more like a baseball manager — strategically. What is not getting accomplished? What need is being ignored or not listened to? What is the best approach to maximize the results my time and energy can deliver? And what are some things I can do to maximize both of those things – my time and energy, that is?
Yep, it’s time to re-examine the way I’m playing this game because frankly, I’m striking out.
Damn. If the Rays weren’t out of town right now, I think I’d play hooky to um…sort out all of this. You know, a planning day. Working lunch and all that. With suds, of course. *shakes fist dramatically* Curse you, away games!
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