This week is really critical. I have just one short story to finish, and then the first draft of my next book OUR SEASONS is in the hands of my proofreaders! The timing couldn’t be better on this end. While they are exploring Florida cities, art, emotions —basically, the thoughts, whims, fears, desires and travels of my odd mind —- buried within the pages, I will be knee-deep in magazine deadline, as I usually am at the end of the month.
The end of this process is soooooo close that it’s a bit scary. Most writers will empathize. There are those brave few that won’t. Or at least those not willing to admit their vulnerabilities.
It is quite unnerving to reach the end of writing a book. Readers might think it’s exciting and soothing to see the finish line but it isn’t. It’s the most difficult and frightening lap of them all. Because your baby is dressed and ready to step outside the door for the first time, and you know deep in your heart how much you love her, how much she means to you and how beautiful she is in your eyes.
But then the realization strikes: maybe they won’t love her, maybe she won’t be meaningful to others, maybe they won’t see her beauty at all. You start to second-guess yourself as a…mother. Did I offer the reader enough of a payoff with this story? Is that line right? Did I say too much? Did I say too little? Should I have said nothing at all?
No matter how much we may believe in our storytelling, in our message, in ourselves, a writer takes to the path of the final lap toward publishing with all of their fears, insecurities and trepidation rising to the surface, weighing heavy on their mind and heart.
Soon, I’ll introduce you, but until then, I will wait and wonder and worry and wait some more. And it will be a battle between the artist screaming to get its message and its canvas out in front of the masses and the frightened little child within wanting instead to pack up her coloring book and crayons and hide behind those bushes on the playground where no one can find her.
Who will win the battle in these final weeks of preparation and review, feedback and edits? The home stretch awaits. ~ Chris
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