Fact is I had a to-do list planned for today. Made it yesterday. It is 9:39 a.m. as I type this and I’ve already thrown that list out the window. Sigh.
I’m thankful that I’m getting a bit better about this. There was a time when this would be completely unacceptable to me. Nope, in those quite inflexible, rigid times, if it was on the agenda, it was going to happen…regardless of other circumstances. That left only one of two possible outcomes — complete success or complete failure. And nothing in between.
Becoming adaptable has taken me a while. Pretty much 40 years. It all started when I got divorced back in 1993. That wasn’t in my plans. Completely unexpected. Now what, I thought? Then years later, when I moved in with a man who had custody of his children half the time, it introduced some other new unpredictable elements — children. And I’ll admit, I wasn’t very good at it at first. Still a kid myself, only 25 or so. And an only child. So in my world, everything I wanted and planned to do should just… happen. Until I realized one day, that when you have a family, very often you are sailing in the breeze and going along with the wind of the moods, whims and antics of others around you. That took some getting used to and I threw my own adult tantrums for a while until I realized that these did no good. Heh.
Years later, I look back at those growing pains of my own as a stepmom and think, thank god. Not just for the lessons learned but because it prepared me for the rest of life’s unpredictable presents. Layoffs, deaths of beloved pets and loved ones, friends entrances and exits, health challenges. We can’t expect every second of life to operate on the same gear, can we? And we wouldn’t want it to, would we? I certainly wouldn’t. Because if it did, we also would not have the moments of elation and excitement that arrive when you achieve a major goal, celebrate a new beautiful arrival or experience feelings of pure joy.
Besides, I find that I have more success tackling any tasks when I’ve got the enthusiasm and gusto behind it. So if my heart isn’t in it, I’m probably better off not making that a priority anyway. Unless it were something I absolutely HAD to get done that day. In this case, it isn’t. Something I simply want to get done. Soon. But perhaps today is not that day. So…
…my to-do list today is lying in that mental garbage can of other potential ideas. Meh. Oh well. Let’s see what else I can do with my day instead. Good luck with your own efforts. ~ ck
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