Movie Mondays ~ Monday, July 1, 2019

Movie Mondays ~ Monday, July 1, 2019

What do you know, I actually managed to squeeze in two movies this week, and they were ghastly. Read all about two cinematic messes and then avoid these two like the pus-filled canker sores they are. Surely next week has GOT to be better…right? As always, still appreciate you reading my thoughts though! ~ Chris K.



FILMS VIEWED WEEK OF 06/24/2019 – 06/30/2019

(click on images to enlarge on the screen!)




75. Bob Lazar: Area 51 & Flying Saucers

Documentary (2018)
Bob Lazar, George Knapp, Jeremy Kenyon Lockyer Corbell, Mickey Rourke (narrator)


If you entice me with the possibility of alien chit-chat, shady conspiratorial government secrets about extraterrestrial beings and pretty much anything celestial, I’m going to be watching. This documentary was no exception. But as soon as I saw the first few cheesy frames and heard completely out of place and sometimes jarring, scratchy and deep grunts of narration from actor Mickey Rourke,  I knew the filmmakers were from another planet.


I’m going to keep these reviews short and sweet this week because frankly, neither one of them is worthy of a dissertation — not even about how bad they are. I believe documentaries should offer one or more aspects of value for the time invested in watching — maybe it entertains and don’t we all need a good laugh or smile (I know I do!); enlightens by bringing attention to something you may know little or nothing about; touches you emotionally; grips you intellectually; or heck, if it’s really good, it may benefit you in several of these ways. A good documentary doesn’t have to be entertaining if it serves some other purpose. This film? I got absolutely nothing from it. Every time I thought they were going to lead me down a path to enlighten me, they teased me and offered nothing I didn’t already know. They say over and over, back then they focused too much on the man and not his message, and what does this documentary go and do 30 years later or more?  The same. And it’s still not interesting.


This is on Netflix. Go elsewhere. You won’t be missing a damn thing.



Score: 60















76. Unicorn Store

Comedy – Fantasy – Drama (2017)
Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Bradley Whitford, Joan Cusack


If you skipped ahead, you’ll see that this film earned a whole 4 points more than the previous film. So yeah, it stinks, too, but it does have a good main cast of four – Larson in the lead, Jackson once again (this time, not donning his Nick Fury trademark eye patch or attire) and he plays…oh I can’t even begin to explain that one. And Whitford and Cusack play the dopey, well-meaning parents. At least Whitford doesn’t have a psycho, racist-monster counterpart that appears halfway through the film. Whew!


How can I begin to describe this plot? Hmm. How about this: the movie poster says “Everyone needs a little magic. Even if they’re all grown up.” Okay, this doesn’t exactly lay out the plot for you but let’s just say Larson plays Kit, a young woman who still lives at home and seems to enjoy hanging out with herself and her imagination more than those trivial things like oh, I don’t know — getting a job and socializing. When she finally gets inspired by a temp agency ad of all things to go forth and join the rest of the world, her newfound sense of “reality” lasts for only so long before Kit is re-kindled and encouraged to be herself. And that’s when her rainbow-outlined, glitter-filled thoughts suddenly butt heads with this new world.


I didn’t know until after I had seen the film and sat there dumbfounded about what I had just spent the last 100 minutes watching that this was a Brie Larson directorial debut. There are many actors and actresses who have talents in the arena of acting and other pursuits like screenwriting, producing and directing. I think Larson is a wonderful actress and maybe with different material, she might have a unique perspective as a director. But this film? I didn’t get anything from it — comedy? I didn’t laugh. Fantasy? I didn’t ooh or aah. Drama? I didn’t care about these characters.


This is again on Netflix. Like the accident on the side of the road you can’t help but notice. Please drive carefully around it and avert your eyes.  No eye contact please! Head over to Grace and Frankie or something. You won’t be disappointed. Trust me on THAT.


Sigh. Back to the drawing board. I hope next week’s flicks are better.



Score: 64











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